i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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