Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
