based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
