dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
