hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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