drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize