Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
