Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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