no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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