her vagine was all disorganized.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
try to milk me bitch
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
