Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
