Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
