who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
