What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize