Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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