Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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