So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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