How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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