its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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