when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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