I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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