Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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