Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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