i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
