12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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