wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just want nice things and good sex
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
