It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Someone signed my nipple.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
