I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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