I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
