seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
