So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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