Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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