watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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