he was CRYING into my vagina
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize