In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
