She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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