I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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