I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
