I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
