Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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