They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
