is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
