i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we should paint friendship bongs
send nudes
from the living room?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
