Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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