My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
