If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
