The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
