eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
