how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
