he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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