honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
