I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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