Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
