You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
