girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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