it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
