He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
